When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, I swear, I won't take our love for granite. Sell me a lemon? This living 'ell. MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO a contract. "Lovely"? Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. Is a miracle! Did you see all those packages outside? Over a drink. The subsequent fall was inevitable. Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal. A boy with no fingie? In . MRS PHELPS enters. . MATILDA She hates it when I go out. Stop scaring your mother with that book, boy. [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] Funny Tinder pickup lines. Like you, I was (Q) curious, Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. She found a small cottage. The stage goes black. MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. Seven times two is fourteen. Write this down. Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. MR WORMWOOD I always compete, doctor. Two times two is four. BIG KIDS My mommy thinks they're sweet. You have just made a very big mistake. Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, But my mummy likes them! He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. A storm can begin with the flap of a wing. DOCTOR 19. Bambinatum! MISS HONEY Did you hear what he said? Good show. MR WORMWOOD Mrs. Wormwood: There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. MATILDA From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . The biggest burp I had ever heard about! Would rob them of their hope of living happily. What about the Russians? AAAHH! Stories. I didn't, I was on the garage roof. CHILDREN My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. And . "thinking". The endings are often a little bit gory! A little less flat, a lot more heel. Absolute silence. No one's gonna tell you when to wiggle your bumba. Million $ Sticky Host: Find the bally line and toe it, [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] No, it's fine. 3. Are you listening? A curtain is wheeled in with the words "5 YEARS AGO" painted on it. MATILDA Where are you going? I can't find his frank 'n' beans! They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! I'll say! You have to stay inside the circle all the time. But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. Yeah. It's the mileage. I want to be in school. Eleven times two is twenty-two. He got a C on his report! Meet Matilda. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. Chew your food; you're an animal! A little less dressing like your mum. Nothing will change. They sits and unpack their bags. I told them, I said, "Hey. . You and I must be Weedles. MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. Agatha Trunchbull: MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. What about rules, Honey? Agatha Trunchbull: Russian businessmen: very, very stupid! Knock on the door, Jenny. Fifteen times two is thirty. In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. Stuff it in. Well, here I am. I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town. He stands up on a block. That is a promise. What? You? Ten times two is twenty. Then your mummy is a twit! abilities. . WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? Matilda: Only when they deserved it, of course. What did you think? Are you a pig, Amanda? I ate the lot! Matilda: endobj My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. . RUDOLPHO AAAAAHHHHH! She starts the video screens playing again. Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? 5. 3. [as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers] MR WORMWOOD MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. No one's going to look if you don't stand out. MRS WORMWOOD Secrets. MISS TRUNCHBULL MRS WORMWOOD Mrs. That was Miss Honey. And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. Mrs. Wormwood: They were written that way: 3. [interrupting] Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. MRS PHELPS Some rats are gonna die today. . [off to the side] How about this. And it's made of spikes and wood. They're trying to scare us. It was the biggest burp I had ever done. I'm the best! My daddy says I'm his special little guy! Nine times two is eighteen. Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! Wormwood! The most common thing in life is life . DOCTOR CHILDREN Agatha Trunchbull: This is the worst day of my life! As long as you dont know it with the volume up. You're just wasting energy, It's out of the question. What's wrong with me? . Look! You chose books. MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN . . //-->. And remember to be eXtremely careful. Oh, let's put it this way. Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: I think he blinked. . MATILDA Crush that little weasel! [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: Well? [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. I don't know what you're talking about. MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. . Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. Agatha Trunchbull: She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. We can have our cake and it it too! And Jenny's outside. Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, Agatha Trunchbull: You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. . . You haven't got time for "but". Yes. MATILDA Try to be funny, or clever, or both! MATILDA FBI Agent Bill: Daughter of Mr Harry Wormwood who owns Wormwood Moturs. . [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. Yes! See, I know your headmistress. Why don't you run away? Agatha Trunchbull: Parents wheeling strollers enter alongside their CHILDREN. [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] . The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. MISS TRUNCHBULL Just go back to school! MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. What? I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). She's got no respect, that one. 9:17, suspect exits domicile. [tosses the cereal in the air] DOCTOR and CHILDREN Hey, dip face. She holds the hat out to him. I mean, it's got to hurt, all squished in there. No, no, no, no [ad lib. The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. He's fantastic! And even if you could, BIG KIDS MISS HONEY Here's what I think of your lovely [He starts pulling at the book as though to tear it apart.]. MAN: We'll have to change his school. MISS HONEY It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. . It's . off to prison you both shall go!". But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up Would you like some milk? No way! MATILDA And if it's not right, MATILDA collects her books. MRS WORMWOOD Not dressed in hospital cotton, . The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. And so, the great day arrived! Harry Wormwood: Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Tricks!" Considerably roomier inside. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. MISS HONEY MATILDA A denizen of the underworld! MISS HONEY Innocent victims of their story. If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. Could I speak to you for a moment, please? More than one. . You should stay out of trouble . Agatha Trunchbull: Do you need a sin for your next confession? MISS TRUNCHBULL Trunchbull: My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, I don't know. Jenny: Let alone getting the conversation going! Don't waste this. Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed-up things in the world? Ooh, me, me, me, miss! No, sir. Dad too. MR WORMWOOD Matilda: [to Zinnia] What about me, then? Jack and Jill went up the hill . Two times . MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. It's your father who's going to federal prison. A little more bah-da, ba ba ba-da bom! Mr. Wormwood: LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. My name is Miss Honey. She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. In the cupboard. Lost your appetite? Mr. Wormwood: Did you hear what we said? Oh, yes. 2. and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! Come on! And children in the bottom class aren't really expected to read. Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. A little less zzz, a lot more zing. [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. [TV Version] He loves having me around. They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. [She underlines the sentence on the board.]. MATILDA Oh, it's Miss Honey. MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. She'll call a truce, Bruce. SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! Zinnia Wormwood: . BRUCE If you want to throw the hammer for your country. I? Oh, yeah. A flaming escapologist? What's this? cancelled! queens! Apply just one simple rule [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] Matilda Wormwood: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. MISS TRUNCHBULL runs in, blowing on her whistle, and chases ERIC down until he is pulled into formation by two BIG KIDS. And yet, every single life, MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. I really hope you have a search warrant. "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." You gotta be loud! BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] DOCTOR WOMAN: Well, take another! [She murmurs along to the music.] If you want to throw the hammer for your country, I have all these extra. BIG KID [BEN] Harry Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? Lord knows we've tried. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the Harry Wormwood: . Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. Ten! MISS HONEY enters and knocks. But this time, I've got a secret weapon. Come along, Bogtrotter. Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. Have another marshmallow, Dip face. Your mommy is a TWIT! 4. I have to tell you, Headmistress, that it is my intention to help this little girl. One look at my face and it's plain to see. Five times two is ten. . (Bruce!) "Patience, my love," the husband replied. There's, erm . [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. Hand's shaking. I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! The apple never rots far from the tree! Why? A spotlight searches the theater. MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. She's reading a book. . And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. Twelve times two is twenty-four. "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. MATILDA, LAVENDER, and NIGEL raise their hands. And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! Lissy Doll, I called her. You don't let me talk to people! ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. Science pick up lines 1. . Where'd all this come from? MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Look at mummy. You're supposed to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry! That's not normal for a five-year-old. Who would be here to sign for the packages? Dance competition's over. The library? So she's learned a few tricks. There is a spotlight on BRUCE as he begins to talk. MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. That's it! MAN: I think he blinked. As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. DOCTOR That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. LAVENDER That's not fair! You are a teacher. Of course I am. . Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. Last week, I read quite a few. [picks up two bowls of cereal] If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, Michael: [He laughs.] Er, what books did you read? Just write. The moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. The chances of existence almost infinitely small. Don't be pathetic! I believe that . ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] 2. Jenny: Soundtracks, hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda, after listing prices of cars bought and sold, he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda, Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves, Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby, mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone, everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in, strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward, whacks the desk again with her riding crop, Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house, grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist, suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand, Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. Matilda: Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Harry Wormwood: Just knock on the door. It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. You are a crook. Excellent man. That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . If you can't handle the little brat, I'LL LOCK HER IN THE CHOKEY! "Bambinatum est magitum." Let out your belt. Like Romeo and Juliet, If you are having fun, you are not learning. You should read it. DOCTOR Harry Wormwood: Mr. Wormwood: Ahh! What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? In business, son, a man's hair is his greatest asset. Just because you find that life's not fair, it I live in a cage, Harry! [COUPLES But even you, Bruce, Bruce Bogtrotter: You The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. <> Cat in the Hat! Hmm. Or maybe your largeness You show the little brat! Miss Honey: An idiot? A book? Yourself, Matilda? Oh, yes. $5,000? 4. Loud, loud, loud, loud! MATILDA . See how they shine? MRS PHELPS Past Matilda. MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. There's not a lot of difference in size. Stupid, nasty, stinking, slimy . MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! Harry Wormwood: Is it some modern miracle of calculus Not the end of your nose. MRS WORMWOOD What was my profit for the day? Mum, would you like to hear a story? Just get on your feet, Jenny. All right. MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. 1. MR WORMWOOD FBI Agent Bob: You can read words. 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. Trunchbull: I don't know. We give the Whisper Challenge a shot with a little spin on it. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. MATILDA gazes at their dramatic display non-chalantly and holds out a palm to them. [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] One day when I'm older, My daddy says I'm his special little guy. No! Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. As I was saying, Matilda. My mummy says I'm a miracle. This calls for a proper smoke. MISS HONEY Agatha Trunchbull: Where are the children's books? Prettier barrelina! BIG KID [RYAN] Every life I bring into this world We all get carried away sometimes. MRS PHELPS Let's leave maths for the time being . MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. Ahh! See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. Well, take another! BIG KID [TAYLOR] I've got my deal today with the Russians. You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. And if you cry it will be (W) double. Well I had to take a shower, Harry! Specialness is de rigueur. She misses me so much. I can see we're not going to agree, are we? MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. [:g-] If you sit around and let them get on top, you Miss Trunchbull, Matilda Wormwood is a genius! This is Rudolpho! Is your nickname glucose? . CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Zinnia Wormwood: Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. Million $ Sticky Host: It's not mine! . My daddy says I'm a bore. BOTH: What a dear! But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. . I'll come back later, then. It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. You don't need happiness or self-esteem. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. Agatha Trunchbull: And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. The school bell rings and all the children march out. She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. Mr. Wormwood: This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. You want Matilda to go to college? MRS WORMWOOD walks back behind the curtain. Zinnia Wormwood: Miss Honey: Don't be pathetic! For this newt you pin-worm! Chew your food; you're an animal! MR WORMWOODOh, this is thick! Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. . Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. What? Why? But I didn't do anything. It's the Trunchbull's speciality. | Share this Matilda : I love it here! I'd love to read to you some time. If you took your time , CHILDREN You're just wasting enerGy, What am doing here? MISS TRUNCHBULL Zinnia Wormwood: | The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! And sailed high up, up above the stands MATILDA enters from her bedroom. . Pathetic, little me. . Oh, my hair! Oh my. Bruce! 1. Agatha Trunchbull: 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. She didn't know. How does that sound? MR WORMWOOD Agatha Trunchbull: Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. A DOCTOR enters. Get the hell outta here! In other words, a pick-up line is an icebreaker or a conversation opener. MRS WORMWOOD She went on olden-day sailing ships with Joseph Conrad. MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. You've made an awful error. Jane Eyre . Has my daddy told ya My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. Let me tell you something, son. . But it's a truth empirical Neigh! Right. MR WORMWOOD MRS WORMWOOD MISS HONEY exits behind the stacks as the library scene rolls in. You Hanging down by your ears. We can't leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep. But I'm his little soldier. Matilda: And if you want to make the team, You'll be surprised at how well it works. What do you want a book for? To hammer throwing, life, and school This one was mine. [walking out of the room excitedly] I love books. What a dear! BIG KID [BEN] [bends down] WOMAN: And insightful. Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! TOMMY Stop! How far can you go? so I pick it up and - No! But to me, they tell a deeper story. Oh, Matilda! CHILDREN Michael: The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? As me. Absolutely, sir! It is, is it? I can see She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. <> MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. You chose books - I chose looks. On a boat, in a car, with your toes all curled - Oh, the places we'll go when I rock your world. These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. . I have my ion you. MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] 2. Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. Don't be disgusting! [her car has broken down] MISS TRUNCHBULL's office, complete with her in a high-backed chair (facing the back of the stage) is wheeled in. Babes, I'm on fire, here! You've never set foot in a library. BIG KID [BEN] MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN So go and put some highlights in your hair. Oh, yes. Her mind? CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. I'll be watching you, each and every one. And the second part is Chokey! The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage has been . With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. 2. And if you cry it will be double. MISS TRUNCHBULL Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. . Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! Ow! But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. . Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. Narrator: . For this newt, you piss-worm! [insulted] <>>> 3 0 obj When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, Matilda: And I will teach you a thing or two. To fetch a pail of water. Looks are more important than books. Oh, no, Matilda. ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. That kids like me should be against the law. Mrs. D? ], MISS HONEY [He takes out a cigar and takes hold of the baby.] When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. "A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall! . Lights up. It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. The Invisible Man . Not a jot! Matilda? Sixteen times two is thirty-two. Stop. Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? MATILDA Another flaming book? You wouldn't beat them in a race! Matilda: her knickers stayed stuck to the seat! 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. BRUCE MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . Rules? MRS PHELPS Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: [to MICHAEL] Get up, boy. Matilda: An unhatched tadpole. A large iron gate made of square holes of various sizes rolls in from both sides of the stage. See you tomorrow! With her, it's all "books" and "stories". Kim . You have a worm, A little less head, a lot more derriere. Stand up and be proud! Her mind is incredible. Yep! He's part Italian, you know. The fibers fused to my hair! Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. celebrities! What? and . But nobody else is gonna put it right for me. There's nothing to fear. . Harry Wormwood: [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. Well, I'd better hang around just in case. You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! MISS HONEY enters and erases the board. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. Get in the car, Melinda! Isn't there some more? You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. . MISS HONEYbeckons MATILDA to the back of the class. The secret to my success is this. MRS WORMWOOD [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? DOCTOR MISS HONEY Platinum blonde hair dye. [turns to Michael] . Mum says I'm a good case for population control. MRS WORMWOOD . I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] You've seen one before. Harry Wormwood: It's just pathetic! You're not a little girl. In my school? MISS HONEY No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. NIGEL "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. 1 0 obj MISS HONEY Or just a coincidence? You make money? I sold it for $999. "Time is on our side. Agatha Trunchbull: You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? Conclusion - Best Pick Up Lines. I hate pigtails! MISS TRUNCHBULL Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. Are you crying? Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. [He sits down in a zen position.]. I mean . When she was just two years old, her mother died. Oh I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! But unless you want to suffer, listen up MRS WORMWOOD "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. And what sort of teacher would I be MISS HONEY And remember to be extremely careful. I'll tell you something. MRS WORMWOOD . With your stupid books and your stupid reading. You have to stay inside the circle . She'll call a truce, Bruce. MISS HONEY B-R-O-O-C-E! Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. Yes. MRS WORMWOOD Do I allow pigs in my school? . ACT 1. google_color_link="000000"; One times two is two. You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. MISS TRUNCHBULL MR WORMWOOD RUDOLPHO We have everything . I'm the best! . [noticing her books] A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. [She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.] . [Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to]. Am I wrong? Stop being pathetic, Jenny. Claiming that they know stuff we don't know. Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know! So, what is it? A life. Matilda: RG0 . Just knock on the door. Mrs. Wormwood: The more that you try, An extraordinary girl with a sharp mind and a vivid imagination takes a daring stand to change her story with miraculous results. Amanda Thripp:
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